She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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