heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
