Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
