I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
