Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
