I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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