sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
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