If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
