I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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