I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
