suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
