i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.