They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
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just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
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I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.