Please, let me fuck your mom
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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