garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize