WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
