You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
