I must be too annoying 4 u.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
