There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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