they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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