was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
