when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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