i just google imaged poop.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
