Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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