Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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