Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
