Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
