Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
