are you still at the devil's house?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
