At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
