Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping

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(850): View more from Florida

Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?

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(619): View more from California

I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case

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(503): View more from Oregon

why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know but we should still do that

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(320): View more from Minnesota

That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.

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(802): View more from Vermont

No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again

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(408): View more from California

i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.

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