under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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