my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
