Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
