So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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