New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
