If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
