On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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