yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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