there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
