mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
