What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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