So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
