the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
where am i from again
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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