well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
