drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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