Do vagina's smell?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
