I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize