i just google imaged poop.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
