how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
