Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
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I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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