Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
