Cold hands, warm shart.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
