look no pants
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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