I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
