I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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