Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
