I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
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