Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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