No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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