Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
