i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
