Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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